On the Double Standard Machismo

The Philippines adheres to the Machismo cultural trait. The upbringing, etiquette, norms, and preferences of Pinoys have been more or less shaped by this. But what does this trait have to do with Divorce, or Annulment.

Si Malakas at Maganda. a title of a prominent Filipino folk tale on how creation came about. Both male and female emerged from “kawayan” or bamboo. Man was strong, Malakas, the woman was beautiful, Maganda. And like as history supports, this was how we saw gender roles.

Man is the active foundation of a household. He is strong, and hard. “Macho kumbaga.” He is “Hard” like stone, straying away from emotions. He is the protector, and he usually leads. Men should let ladies sit instead of them during train rides. Real men court ladies, and wait for approval. They’re both villain and protagonist. Men should always be strong, Astig. Anything that strays from these very traditional expectations is not what makes up a Filipino Man.

But, this also benefits the Ladies. Si Maganda, benefits from all the special treatment that Malakas offers her. She is given the opportunity to cut lines. They are given three whole carts in any rail transit. Their doors are opened for them by any “well mannered” guy. Their meals, paid for them. They stay home; tend to the children and the household. They are fragile, and beautiful, and are treated as such. Sila ang Ilaw ng Tahanan, and the driving force for any Filipino man.

Yes, both parties gain advantage from Philippine machismo. Their roles defined to complement each other. The double standard provided by this defining cultural attribute, and against usual assumptions, the Woman’s “weakness” becomes her biggest asset. This is evident especially in matters of court and law.

They are the default benefactors and are the usual winners for child custody. And for Annulment, that isn’t as specific and “competitive” as divorce, the woman acquires an unspoken but well understood consideration, of being a woman. That is, that men pose a bigger threat and have the bigger capacity to screw up a relationship than the woman. That it is assumed that the man cheats, and that the woman is faultless. That men are more capable providing for themselves, and that women have the higher capacity to care. Assume that we consider all of these factors in a neutral and less controlled context. Sides will tilt, to the benefit of Maganda.

Divorce came after annulment. A much more updated version of Annulment, has taken consideration of a greater variety of possible scenarios, it seems natural for any country to accept the upgrade. And for the Filipinos who live in such a contemporary time should seem to be able to accommodate and be provided by a much modern way of dealing with things. Laws are meant to provide equal footing, regardless of the culture and general perspective of things.