What Happanes to the Kids?

I think the most affected party in a family that needs more attention are the children or kids. During a divorce or separation, I believe it is crucial for kids to get the proper attention, support and assurance.

Unlike adults who understand, and who can grasp the whole situation better, kids, especially in the earlier ages can’t. Most of the time, kids know only the big picture, that their parents are separated due to conflict. Such details as to why they parted each other, or how it all happened, or the feelings of different parties etc. They may not understand everything, which could manifest itself into a very stressful environment for the young boys and girls who come from broken families. The lack of understanding and knowledge and the uncertainty involved will create discomfort on the part of the younger ones.

Divorce means change, sometimes the change is too big and too abrupt. The effects of divorce on them may make children feel vulnerable, as they witness their family falling apart. It comes from figuring out or feeling that the security of the home is breached by parental internal affairs. It is easy to spot out differences especially in the material and resource capacity of two parents versus one. Here are a few hypothetical concrete examples on situations and symptoms that manifest from the divorce. Little Nicki might feel insecure and vulnerable when the groceries bought by his parents are reduced to half, that he is no longer to capable of availing to his favorite cereal ever since dad left. Another one would be Little Nicki comparing his or her family to the families of peers. A much capable and complete family may breed envy on the like of a child. Or whenever teased into just having one instead of two parents etc. The child is then enveloped into a relatively stressful environment. The support should address how a child should best be able to cope with it.

Children need to feel loved; they need to experience certain things in order for them to practice some. Children learn much from their parents; they are directly dependent on what they see, on what they feel. They (more often than not) are not mature or conscious enough to steer emotion, and thus the conflict might contribute in deterring their development. Just imagine a child seeing constantly how their parents fight. Imagine a kid seeing his/her mom beaten by his or her own dad. How would they feel? How would they be able to interpret these things, and although the coping mechanisms vary, the thing being coped with will always point to a much stressful environment.

These things, these predicaments these children face at such a young age may help shape their upbringing, the way they see things. These of which may able to be carried out even in mature stages of life. For example a kid who detests, hates and is angry of his father may manifest itself into generalizing it to men. This is one of the most common cases that create ground for irregular sexual preferences when they grow up. The development of a kid within a divorce is held as vulnerable as a sitting duck. Knowing what to do and how to do it might be a good start into addressing this problem. There should be a number of professional help that help educate parents, and help transit change into the life of the little ones.